You are Homeless

You are homeless. If not, then you probably have no business beinge here unless;

You're writing a report on homelessness (go HERE)

You're an activist looking for how to help reduce homelessness and it's negative impact on your community (go HERE)

Okay, so you are homeless, residentially challenged, undomiciled, or an as I have designated myself "an urban outdoorsman" and you need some advice on how to survive (and even succeed at) being homeless. You have come to the right place, but before we do anything constructive or useful, we must stop and genuflect at the barren altar of malignant anal retentive jack asses (AKA - Lawyers) who have created the complex wording of laws, even employing the wanton use of archaic dead languages, in order to hide the violence they do to others with their laws...

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: 
Homeless University is the brainchild of the Author (that's me) in his personal capacity as boy genius. The opinions expressed in Homeless University are the Author's own and do not reflect the view of any organization, entity, or civic institution, public or private, or any creature living or dead, other than the Author (yup, that's me.) This whole fricken' deal is me, except for the preceding comment about lawyers where the Author (that's me again) voices the sentiments of all mankind.

Okay now let's do something to benefit humanity...

There are some basic ground rules that apply to all homeless individuals. Like all rules, you may choose to ignore some or all of them, but I do not recommend playing fast and loose with any of them.

1. Accept that you are Homeless

Pretending that you are not homeless will impede your ability to survive. Focus on now and the future. Replaying all the things that you or someone else, "Could have done", "Should have done", or "Would have done" has no bearing on how you are going to survive WHAT IS NOW. Being bitter towards others or self defeating towards yourself will greatly reduce your chances of survival.  You cannot change what has happened, but you can control the future through your thoughts and actions right now.

If you find yourself telling the story of why you are homeless without being asked, you have not mastered this first rule.

2. Civility is not Optional 

Just because you're homeless does not give you license to act like a savage. The rules of civilized conduct remain in full effect. You may not harm, threaten, or coerce others simply because you're down on your luck. Being a jerk will greatly reduce your chances of survival, however it will greatly increase your odds of being incarcerated.

Understand that you have become a member of one of the few minority groups that it is still socially acceptable to discriminate against. I am not saying it is right, I am merely stating the fact. Law enforcement will have no problem charging you with vagrancy, loitering, camping, trespassing, or any number of other charges that would not be pressed against a person with a permanent address. In many areas, law enforcement has been tacitly charged with getting the homeless out of their jurisdiction. You might wonder, "Why?" One major reason is because too many homeless individuals failed to obey this very rule! As a result, all homeless individuals have become "persona non grata" (undesirable people).

3. Blend with your Environment

Being homeless does not require you to look or act like you are from a different planet. It is very easy to keep up with your basic hygiene at your local library, gas station, or fast food joint. I don't mean strip down in the bathroom and bathe in the sink! However, you can take damp paper towels with a spot of soap on them and wash your body in private in a stall. Clothing can easily be picked up from charities or even garbage picked from your local thrift store dumpster. Your local food bank may even provide you with vouchers for clothing. You don't have to be dressed like you work on Wall Street, but you need not look or smell like you slept on Wall Street, either.

4. Pack Light

Carry your absolute necessities (covered in Section 2 - Homeless Gear) in a backpack. If you have more absolute necessities than can be carried in a backpack, go back to Rule 1 - Accept that you are homeless, because you have not yet accepted that you are homeless. You cannot continue caring for all the stuff and things you had when you had a home. Sell it or give it away if you must, it will eventually be stolen or lost anyway. As a benchmark, if you can carry your pack for 10 miles or more, you are fine.

5. Do not be Adversarial with Police

Police deal with the worst elements of a community, they are trained to take charge and be assertive when responding to calls or investigating suspicious behavior. This means they "put a hard edge" on any potentially dangerous situation. Keep in mind, law enforcement officers are not only expert marksmen but are exceedingly well trained in hand to hand combat. Escalating tensions with law enforcement officers in any given encounter will not work in your favor. Educating yourself on how to protect and implement your Rights is the first step in a peaceful resolution to encounters with law enforcement. However; this is not within the scope of this text. For information on how to "flex your Rights" (go HERE)

6. Respect your Fellow Homeless

I cannot over emphasize this particular point enough. You will quickly discover that there are many who do not follow this rule. You may even discover that very few seem to have respect for anything. This may be true however diving into the cesspool only makes you stink, it never sweetens the stench. You will over time come to know those who are generally trustworthy and those who are not. I emphasize over time because it takes time to build a relationship and establish trust. Sadly, oftentimes those who are newly homeless are targeted by the worst elements in a homeless community. They see you as nothing but a resource to be exploited. Perhaps you have some money, a vehicle, jewelry, a credit card, a laptop, an IPhone, or anything else of value that they can steal. The nice new friend helping you organize your belongings may actually be making a mental inventory of everything you own and where it is located in your bags.

7. Trust is Earned

This is a corollary to Rule 6. Beware the overly friendly or fast friends. Don't be rude; after all, they may be genuine, however only time will reveal their true nature. When I say "time" I'm not speaking in minutes, hours, or even days. I'm talking in months, even several months. You will hear many rumors in the homeless community; it is a hotbed of hearsay. Only trust new friends with small things that have little or no value. You can determine the quality of an individual’s character by how they treat others. If they have no problem stealing from their other "friends", they will steal from you. Sad but true.

8. Establish Routine and Maintenance

Routines make life more predictable, productive, and far more peaceful. Setting up a realistic and effective plan to accomplish your goals and meet your needs has multiple benefits,

·         Keeps you focused on positive results rather than life’s problems

·         Helps maintain your physical and mental wellbeing

·         Automatically establishes a support network around your needs

·         Saves time, minimizes uncertainty, and reduces stress

There will still be times when some unforeseen event upsets your routine (e.g. - late buses, appointments delayed, poor health, etc.) however; these are mere exceptions rather than the rule in a life with a routine. I understand the appeal of the excitement of just "winging it" through life, but just like in football the "Hail Mary" pass seldom wins the game. The "Hail Mary" is just a desperate attempt to compensate for previous poor performance.

9. Keep a Clean Camp

You can tell the nature of a creature by its den. First, if you live in what appears to be a garbage dump you will soon begin to see yourself as little more than garbage. Second, your health will quickly deteriorate as a result of the unsanitary conditions. Food waste attracts rats and insects which increase your contact with deadly pathogens. Remember rats and fleas fed by unsanitary conditions were the cause of the "black death" which killed 1/3 of Europe's population between 1347 and 1353 AD.

Your garbage is your responsibly to dispose of properly. If you must crap in the woods dig a hole at least one foot deep (preferably more) and bury it along with any toilet paper you use. Equally important is to use an area at least 100 feet away from your camp minimizing your chances of exposure to contaminants.

Keep your belongings organized to prevent loss and save time. Make cleaning and organizing part of your routine I mentioned in Rule 8.

10. Tame Your Addictions

Being homeless is very difficult when in the best of mental and physical health. Alcohol and illicit narcotics may appear to provide a temporary escape from depression, uncertainty, physical discomfort, and the tedium of homelessness. This escape is illusory. I will not argue that there are some perceived positive benefits from this or that substance, but the bottom line is, “none of them are health food”. The debilitating effects of alcohol and narcotics use are well documented by health care researchers and generally well known by all but the most delusional serious users. If you are one of those who know: A)You can handle it; B)You are genetically or constitutionally special; C)You are self-medicating; or D) I just don't understand... then, you fit into the delusional category. Do yourself a favor and concede that you are protecting the addiction that is abusing you. That is a start. Every one of us is fundamentally born broken, and I am no different. However; if you can’t see past the next $20 bag of chemicals or $20 bottle of booze, homeless is a relatively minor concern.

11. Your Worldview is the key

I may lose a lot of you right here on this rule, and that is a pity. There simply is no politically correct way to say what I need to express here.

If you believe that human beings are simply biological accidents or worse a virus like species that's destroying its planet, then your outlook on human life including your own is bleak at best if not pointless.

I'm not a "religious person" by any means; however I have a genuine personal relationship with God, my Creator. Religion is following a set of rules and rituals established by man to try to impress God, which is a pointless endeavor. An infinitely powerful being is not impressed by how many hoops you can jump through, how many prostrations you can perform, how often you can fill a seat in a church, or how many times you repeat the same prayers. Rituals and Rites impede relationship. Obligations and duties imposed by religion negate love.

I'm not here to preach to you. I'm here to help you cope with homelessness to the best of my abilities. If you think you can do this without having a real relationship with God in your worldview then all I have left to say on the matter is, "May it serve you well."