
Monday, March 16, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Beauty of Conspiracy
During the Nuremberg trials, top Nazi officials were tried
for crimes against humanity. It was the first time that charges such as these
were ever leveled against the leaders of a defeated enemy. It was also the
first time that there was a semblance of a "world court" to hold anyone accountable for acts of conspiracy relating to the violation of human
rights. This should be considered a victory for the entire human race.
These despots and their underlings had the audacity to claim
that they were simply "following orders", or that they tried to
tell "them", the others, that they were doing the wrong things. Yet, at no time did any one of these conspirators say, "I am them".
Instead they chose to hide behind the "beauty of conspiracy", the
lack of personal accountability for your own actions.
Somehow when we act in a group, a gang, or a mob, our own
actions can appear to be justified. We do things that we, as individuals, would
never consider let alone act upon. Once the mob begins to chant "Crucify him! Crucify him!" it ssuddenly seems not only acceptable but necessary. We want to be on the side of the mob.
Do you remember the scene in Frankenstein, when the townsfolk were marching through the streets on their way to Castle Frankenstein to kill the monster with torches and pitchforks in hand? It didn't start out with a group of concerned people whom after careful deliberation came to a consensus, then took reasonable actions to ensure that their families were safe. No, it started out with a few individuals acting out of fear and spreading that fear until the gentle farmfolk of the community were whipped up into a bloodthirsty mob chanting, "Kill, Kill, Kill the monster!"
Do you remember the scene in Frankenstein, when the townsfolk were marching through the streets on their way to Castle Frankenstein to kill the monster with torches and pitchforks in hand? It didn't start out with a group of concerned people whom after careful deliberation came to a consensus, then took reasonable actions to ensure that their families were safe. No, it started out with a few individuals acting out of fear and spreading that fear until the gentle farmfolk of the community were whipped up into a bloodthirsty mob chanting, "Kill, Kill, Kill the monster!"
This was much the same mentality at work among the Nazis, and that very same mob mentality spread to an entire nation. The vestiges of these murderers still linger with us today. Some people idolize the perpetrators of these crimes, still clinging to the idiocy of racial purity. In the eyes of God all men, all women, are equal, but we look through human eyes. We see difference, we see "other", and we see with the myopia of the last 10,000 years of civilization that here is "us" and over there is "them". Madness, madness, all of it.
We are them. They are us.
The conspiracy that grew around Jesus did not come from a
public outcry. It was nurtured in dark rooms filled with an influential few.
Those who felt they had something to lose, and they did. They had everything to
lose; respect, power, influence, and money Ah, yes money. As Paul would write
many years later,
“But those who want to get rich
fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which
plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all
sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and
pierced themselves with many griefs.” – 1 Tim 6:9-11
Indeed, they were positive that their acts of "self-preservation" were justified by
their concern for the Temple, their people, and their traditions. None of these
would be spared. Not a one. Within a generation the Temple was razed to the
ground by the Romans. The people lived on, but were scattered to the farthest
reaches of the known world, and would never inhabit a unified nation again
until 1948. All that remains of the second Temple to this day is the Wailing
Wall.
Jews still flock to this ruin in search of the God who seemed to have abandon them. But, the Jews remain the chosen people of God. They always have been and always will be.
We might look at their history and say, “How could they be favored by God? Look at what happened to them through the Holocaust, the Roman occupation, the Babylonian exile, the Diaspora, and today they are surrounded on all sides by enemies chanting, "Kill, Kill, Kill the monster!" except it comes out as, “Death to Israel!”
We might look at their history and say, “How could they be favored by God? Look at what happened to them through the Holocaust, the Roman occupation, the Babylonian exile, the Diaspora, and today they are surrounded on all sides by enemies chanting, "Kill, Kill, Kill the monster!" except it comes out as, “Death to Israel!”
They say revolutions eat their own children, but it seems
that conspiracy consumes it young, as well. That’s what ends up on the menu when
man starts acting out of fear, ignorance, and greed. The Jews couldn't recognize the very God who had lead them out of bondage, fed them in the desert, lead them
into the Promised Land, and told them He was coming. No, their God had been replaced long ago by vain ritual,
an “all powerful” Caesar, and the Beauty of Conspiracy. Everybody bow down and pray
to the idols of man.
![]() |
| A devout Jew praying at the Wailing Wall |
There he is today, the beloved of God, the seed of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob worshiping by a wall, a wall, built by the hands of men. Sure, he isn't praying to the wall itself, but he still can’t recall that God does not reside in buildings of stone or timber. Split the timber and He is there, crush the stone and He is there. He is everywhere, cutting through the stench of a 2,000 year old conspiracy that still hangs in the air. The Temple is gone, but God has not abandoned His people. He does not break promises, not a single one. Paul reassures him, them, and all of us, in the epistle to the Romans;
"In view of all
this, what can we say? If God is for us, who can be against us? Certainly
not God, who did not even keep back his own Son, but offered him for us all! He
gave us his Son—will he not also freely give us all things? Who
will accuse God's chosen people? God himself declares them not guilty! Who, then, will
condemn them? Not Christ Jesus, who died, or rather, who was raised to life and
is at the right side of God, pleading with him for us! Who, then, can separate us from the love of Christ?
Can trouble do it, or hardship or persecution or hunger or poverty or danger or
death?" – Romans 8:31-35
We are them. They are us.
Now, that is a Beautiful Conspiracy! Amen.
Praise God!
We will all go up together.
Not a single seed will be lost!
Amen.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
The Lord's Prayer... As you never read it before.
While many theologies claim to offer a path to the divine,
many represent either a harsh and demanding deity such as Allah, or a nebulous (undefinable)
spirit such as the karmic wheel that controls our destiny. Our God is not such
a being. He can be easily understood by His metaphors:
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who
kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to
gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings,
and you were not willing.” - Matthew 23:37
What a beautiful and poetic image of a mother hen gathering
her chicks this verse paints for us, even when the subject is the murder of
God’s prophets, those sent as emissaries of the Almighty. Hens are known to cover their chicks in this
manner when storms threaten their young. She takes the brunt of the storm while
protecting her precious brood, kept warm by her body, and safe from the
weather. This is the kind of God I want to worship, not out of obligation or
fear of retribution, but because I love Him. Although I can’t love Him in the
unconditional way that He loves me, but I am willing to love Him as completely
and without reservation as I am humanly capable.
How about you?
While you consider that question, here is food for thought…
We have recited the Lord’s Prayer since we were children,
but how often have we thought upon the words and their relational meaning?
Our Father…
He is our parent. OUR, that’s all
of us. We have a trustworthy, present protector in God, and we are His
children. We are all brothers and sisters, one God, one family, all of us. We
are unified and identified as His through God, our Father. Amen!
Who art in heaven
Jesus is leaving no doubt that the
Kingdom of Heaven is not vacant while He resides in human form on earth. He
isn’t a solitary being, only capable of being in one place at a time as we are.
He is capable of manifestation in both multiple (infinite) forms and multiple
(infinite) locations simultaneously. Try
doing that yourself. Jesus is also reminding us that heaven is a tangible
place, a real place in which we will soon reside for all of eternity with Our
Father. Amen.
Hallowed be Thy Name
Hallowed is a form of the word “holy”. It sounds like something sacred, right? Well, it means “set apart”. Not common, but special, very special, and uniquely of God. His name is set apart from all the other gods. He alone is God. You all know what God’s name is… Yahweh. I AM. It is the complete form of the Hebrew word for a state of being. I AM at ALL times, IAM in ALL places, and I AM in ALL dimensions. There is no place or time where God is not fully present. Imagine that.
Amazing, isn’t it?
Hallowed is a form of the word “holy”. It sounds like something sacred, right? Well, it means “set apart”. Not common, but special, very special, and uniquely of God. His name is set apart from all the other gods. He alone is God. You all know what God’s name is… Yahweh. I AM. It is the complete form of the Hebrew word for a state of being. I AM at ALL times, IAM in ALL places, and I AM in ALL dimensions. There is no place or time where God is not fully present. Imagine that.
Amazing, isn’t it?
Thy Kingdom come
But wait, how could His kingdom
come if He is already in ALL time, in ALL places, and ALL dimensions?
A kingdom has a king but it must also
have subjects, and those subjects are us. We aren’t in the kingdom yet. But we
will be. That’s a promise from God, and you can count on that. When He washes
our sins away as Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, we will be worthy to be His
subjects. We will enter the Kingdom making us co-rulers with Christ. He did all
the work; we enjoy the benefits, just like the chicks under those mother hens’
wings.
It is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live
with Him; if we endure, we
will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; - 2 Timothy 2:11. But we can’t deny Him, 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.' - Romans 14:11
This is the
restoration of God’s original system. We will walk with God as Adam and Eve did
before the fall. What a beautiful kingdom we will rule as crowned princes and
princesses, although there is no gender in heaven, you get the idea.
Thy
will be done
It’s no accident
that things happen as they do. Everything belongs. We don’t understand how this
could be since the world is not in line with what we imagine to be an all
loving, all knowing, and all powerful Gods’ will, but it is. A perfect God has
a perfect plan. Whatever made us think otherwise? Our human nature makes us
second guess everything about God from His existence to His intentions. We
forget that it was us who tried to derail the Plan. But this too, was part of
the Plan. Mankind had to fall. We had to experience sin, its corrosive effects,
and learn to make right choices. Otherwise, we would remain innocents, like
infants. Would you put an infant in charge of a Kingdom? Neither would God. The
sin that separates us from the Divine will be forgiven, expunged, and justified
through Christ, not of our own doing. We can’t make it right, but an all
loving, all knowing, and all powerful God can. Praise God. Praise His will.
Praise His mercy.
On
earth as it is in heaven
His will is not
confined to the heavens; it is manifest here on earth too. He isn’t limited by
location. It’s one God, One Creation, One will, One Plan. We win! We win! We
win! We lose the sin!
Give
us this day our daily bread
Do you think that
sandwich for lunch came from your hard earned labor? How about that cup of
coffee or the air you’re breathing? Not one atom was your creation. It was
God’s Creation, all of it. The clothes you wear, the car you drive, the house
you live in, these are all the products of God. “Made by the Almighty”, should
be stamped on every product to remind us of His provision. We live on a tiny
blue ball filled with abundant resources, while every other planet we have
knowledge of is hostile, barren, and lifeless. Is that a coincidence? I don’t
believe in coincidence, I believe in God and I thank Him every day for my daily
bread. So should you.
Forgive
us our trespasses (our sins)
That’s what we
need, we want, we must have. All else is optional. Without forgiveness we are
all screwed. We spend 80 years if we’re lucky on this planet and then what, nothing,
non-existence? What’s the point of collecting houses, cars, bank accounts that
we can never keep? There are no U-hauls on the back of a Hurst. We cheat, lie,
steal, and murder for things we can never really own. It all goes away. Like
playing Monopoly, do you think you own those Houses, those hotels, those
properties, railroads, utilities? They all go back in the box when the game is
over. And the game is nearly over.
Forgiveness is what it’s all about, that is the hard currency. It’s the only commodity
with true intrinsic value. So, how can we earn it? We don’t, it’s given to
us...
…As
we forgive those who trespass against us (their sins)
There is a
relationship here. Remember the parable of the wicked servant?
“Therefore,
the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his
servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of
gold[b] was brought to him. Since he was not able to
pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he
had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before
him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The
servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one
of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and
began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and
begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had
the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other
servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their
master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You
wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged
me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on
you?’ In anger his master handed him
over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat
each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” - Matthew 18:21-35
OK, now connect
the dots.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive
your brother or sister from your heart.” – Matthew 18:35
See the picture?
It’s all there. It has been all along. But you never saw it until now. Now put
the knowledge into application, for knowledge without application is useless.
And
lead us not into temptation
Just to reiterate
the point, there is a relationship here. The temptation to sin, like the fruit
in the Garden, is a matter of choice. We have free will. We have choice. That’s
up to us. We can choose good or evil at any point in our lives. God already
knows what choices we will make. He doesn’t make them for us. His plan includes
the choices we have already made. He exists in the future. ALL time. He looks
backwards and forwards while we can only see now, and our choices of the past.
He leaves the future unknown to us, so we can make our choices. He is already
ahead of us, leading us. No matter what we choose, He is still ahead of us and
still in the lead.
But
deliver us from evil.
This one is a
given. We can’t escape evil on our own. It’s part of our human nature. It is innate.
Only God can deliver us from evil. Remember, you have free will, but so does
God. You make your choices, and then God makes His. He gets to make the final
call.
Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your
eye envious because I am generous?' "So the last shall be first, and the
first last." – Matthew 20:15-16
You make your
decisions, and then God makes His. God was first, and we came last in
Creation. What a merciful God! Is
it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? We are God's own. He
is Generous! He will deliver us from evil. He is God and there is no other. I’ll
let God have the last Word…
For thine is the
Kingdom Forever and ever. Amen.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
In the Beginning...
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. He created all the creatures of the sea and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground. He created a Garden on the earth, a special place unlike any other, a paradise. God also created man and woman in His own image, and He placed the man and the woman in the Garden. And God saw that it was good.
He did not place the man and the woman in a 3 bedroom rambler in the valley for $614,000 with 20% down and carrying the remaining $491,686 at 3.7% fix rate 30 year mortgage.
God could have, but He didn’t.
Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the creatures of the sea and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground, everything that has the breath of life in it, I give every green plant for food." And God saw it was very good.
He did not tell the man and woman that they must leave the Garden by dusk, or that "open" spaces would close.
He could have, but He didn’t.
Now the serpent was craftier than any of the animals the Lord God had made, and the serpent sure as hell did not want the man and woman enjoying all the bounty which God had created just for them. So, that crafty serpent formed a committee filled with slithering lawyers to issue an edict which read...
God is an absentee landlord and We, the duly and lawfully appointed committee, are now in charge. Furthermore, We have annexed the Garden and declared it to be a "Park", not a garden at all. Henceforth, the man and the woman shall not be allowed to reside in the Park.
God could have done any of these things, but He didn’t.
The serpents went on to include the following...
The man and the woman shall not engage in camping which means the use of Park land or other publicly owned property for living accommodation purposes including but not limited to any of the following:
1. Sleeping activities;
2. Making preparations to sleep;
3. Laying down of bedding for the purposes of sleeping;
4. Storing personal belongings;
5. Erecting any tent, tarpaulin, shelter, or other structure that would permit one to sleep overnight;
6. Knowingly causing a fire including campfires, cooking fires, bonfires or other open flames.
Anyone found disobeying this Law shall be punished by imprisonment in jail for a term of nothing more than one year, or by a fine in an amount of not more than $5,000, or by both.
God could have done all these things too, but He didn’t.
What did God do? He created everything; the stars, the planets, the animals, the Garden, the whole universe for what purpose? So that the man and the woman could understand the Nature of God. God's Nature, His personality, is revealed to us by all of Creation. The same Creation of which we, the human race, are the pinnacle. We are the crowning achievement of all God's Creation, made in His image. God had no need for planets, animals, or a Garden. All of Creation was a testament to the Nature of its Creator. A testimony of His provision, His love, and His intention.
There is no deception in the Nature of God. There are no ulterior motives in the Nature of the Creator. These things are the creation of serpents, and of man. We have forgotten that we are Created in the image of God to understand and embody the Nature of God. But we have made poor choices, we have misunderstood God and embodied the nature of the serpent. We have scientifically proven that His provision is an mysterious accident, His love is a fiction of wishful thinking, and His intention is filled with hell fire and damnation, not for us because we have lived a good life, but for all those other people who deserve to burn. Like the homeless, and the addicts, and surely that homeless addict who urinated behind the garage.
That's the kind of God we understand, or would like to believe in. A God as inclined to forget our sins as we are, and as judgemental of the wrongs we have suffered at the hands of others. A personal pit-bull of a God. Trained to stay (at a comfortable distance), sit (idly by while we sin), heel (to our aid when we are in trouble), and attack on command (those other sinners that should burn).
He could do those things, but He doesn't.
The point is God doesn't see us as bad or good, that my dear friends, that is Santa Claus. He doesn't give us what we want, that is also Santa Claus.
He could do those things too, but He doesn't.
Instead, He sees us as His beloved children, who estranged Him in our infancy. Yet, He has provided an open door, a way to come to know Him, His nature, and His love. We need only to remember the greatest commandments. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. And the second is like the first, love others as yourself.
That's what you can do, have you?
P.S. -Thanks for all the anonymous help in writing this!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Remedial Love
Readers Digest Condensed Version:
I was so enthralled with the concept
of everything being done as an act of love
that I neglected to cover one crucial aspect, what is love?
Love is done for the sole benefit of
another with no expectation of reciprocation.
THE END
The
Unabridged Version:
We say the word 30 or 40 times a day
without ever considering the weight of our words. Just to demonstrate that I
have put thought into this thing we call love, here is a little poem about some
of the things I claimed to have loved today…
I love Lou Malnati's pizza and the White
Sox.
I love Cincinnati, but Chicago rocks!
I love the Lord of the Rings, one thru
five.
I love that Mick Jagger is still alive.
I love our happiness can come in a pill
And Scarlett Johansson I can't get my fill.
I love Mount Rushmore's four big heads.
I love Velveeta slapped on Wonder bread.
I love a commie, if he's good and dead.
I love a hotdog with pickles and mustard.
I love my girl, but I sure don't trust her.
I even love what the Indians did to Custer.
Now, you may not agree with me on a
single one of these points, however these points of affection bring us no
closer to understanding the essence of love than chewing bubble gum brings us
to solving a geometry proof. You see, we have a very diluted and degraded
definition of what this crazy little thing called love means.
Julia Cameron philosophized,
“Love
is the substance of all life. Everything is connected in love, absolutely
everything.”
While Hermann Hess forewarns us,
“Love
isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can
endure.”
Kate Bush reassures us in her angelic
voice,
“There's
someone who's loved you forever but you don't know it.”
But Steven Stills proposes a straight
forward solution,
“Love
the one your with.”
First, love is something that exists
only in sentient (emotional) intelligent beings. The reason I say this is that love
requires there be a choice. You must have the ability to make a conscience
decision to love, to hate, or to be indifferent. An inanimate object, such as a
kitchen table, is incapable of emotion and therefor bereft (without) of love.
You may love your cat, but he or she cannot love you back. There is no
conscious decision on the animal’s behalf. Sorry, I hate to break it to you,
but (Insert kitties name here) doesn’t really love you. Not in the sense of
love at the human level. I know that the PETA people will be enraged, but if
they can prove me wrong, I’ll admit my error and love them just the same. As I stated in the Readers Digest
Condensed Version above, Love is done for the sole benefit of another with no
expectation of reciprocation. Any conditional demands on love and it ceases to
be love, it becomes a business transaction. Love can be given, but never
demanded. Once demanded, love becomes obligation, duty, or responsibility, but
it ceases to be love.
The Apostle Paul wrote what is perhaps
the best definition of love in the 13th chapter of his letter to the
Corinthians,
Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
- 1
Corinthians 13:4-7
But wait a minute dude; didn’t you say
there are no conditional demands on love? Then why does that sound like a list
of conditions?
Well, it sounds like conditions, but
these are attributes of love. They are parts of what love is, a description of
what love looks like, rather than a laundry list of requirements.
Wow! That’s a lot of stuff we kind of
associate with love, but there are limitations, implied conditions, and caveats
that come with all that stuff, right? Can you imagine how Paul's Epistle to the
Church at Corinth would read after passing through a present day legal
department? I'm certain it would be both irreconcilable with Paul's
descriptions and incomprehensible to anyone without an Ivy League
interpreter.
I know that seems rather cynical,
sad, and even jaded, (or maybe it's just me) but that’s exactly how our
contemporary definition of love has eroded. Starting around the beginning of
the 20th century, Behaviorism became the craze of modern human psychology
which removed any claim to the “exceptionalism" of human beings in
Creation. We were just another species of animal, a cleaver
but mischievous hairless ape, only slightly higher in position to the
chimpanzee, and love just one of our curious primate
behaviors. Love is an instinctive behavior driven primarily by natural
selection and our odd but insatiable drive to pass on our chromosomes to some
future generation. Some would call this a scientific breakthrough, I call it
dismal. Now that love is a simple behavior, we can limit and direct this potent
power through our ultimate authority, the state. The ethical aspects in
love involve the moral appropriateness of loving, and the forms it should or
should not take. The subject area raises such questions as:
- Is it ethically acceptable to love an object, or to
love oneself (self-esteem)?
- Is love to oneself or to another a duty (a
contract)?
- Should the ethically minded person aim to love all
people equally?
- Is partial love morally acceptable or permissible (that
is, not right, but excusable)?
- Should love only involve those with whom the giver can
have a meaningful relationship?
- Should love aim to transcend sexual desire or physical
appearances?
- Should notions of romantic, sexual love apply to same
sex couples?
These and a hundred more come to
mind once we relegate love to the list of animal behavior filtered through the
lens of legalism. Somewhere as it passes through that filter we lose the
meaning of love. We speak of love towards things, television shows, foods,
fashions, and certainly our children and spouses. But is that love really about
them, or what they do for us. The sense of pride we receive from their beauty
or accomplishments. If your wife was hideously deformed by an auto accident or
rendered incapable of caring for herself, would you still love her?
These are difficult questions in
hypothetical circumstances; however in real world situations the collateral
concerns become exponential. How will you afford the medical expenses? If you
have children, what about childcare expenses? If she was a wage earner, how
will you survive financially? I know these concerns are outside the ideal of
love, but you may soon find when facing these challenges that love for your
spouse becomes far more burdensome. This is where the litmus test of love happens,
“… for the sole benefit of another with no expectation of reciprocation”.
Keep track of how many times you use
the word “love” today without really meaning it. Would I really sacrifice my
personal and financial well-being for The Lord of the Rings? No. The White Sox?
Hardly. Scarlett Johansson? Well… I would definitely tell her I would, if that
aided me in achieving my “love” intentions, but that’s not really love either.
At the end of the day cross off
anything on your list that doesn’t fit the definition, “… for the sole benefit
of another with no expectation of reciprocation”. You will discover how little
we truly love, and at the same time discover what is really important in our
lives that we have taken for granted.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Breaking out of Powerlessness
I spoke with a young lady this evening who is dealing with a lot of stress and she is very frustrated with her situation. I've known her for a little while, and this was much the same many months ago. She's not a bad person by any means. She has a lot going for her, except for herself. That's the team member she's missing. She has fine ideals and a sense of direction, but runs herself down dead ends by focusing on things beyond her control. What others are doing, what courts have determined, or anything or anyone that she has no control over. I feel for her, and wish there were some magic wand I could wave and make everything as she wishes. But I don't have one of those, none of us do.
So, I listen to her, and comiserate with her because that's what I can do. It doesn't change anything, but maybe it makes her feel better that someone is listening, someone cares, but as I said it doesn't change anything. A couple hours, or days, weeks, months later I hear the same script. And I'll be dammed if I don't find myself listening and wishing for a magic wand again that I still don't have. She's frustrated, I'm frustrated, and there's no reason to believe anything will change. How could it if you're focused on things that you cannot control? You render yourself impotent, a passive spectator of your own life, rather than the helmsman of your course.
As a child, you were hopefully fed, clothed, and cared for by loving parents. All the choices were made for you and you had no role in the decision making process. As a young adult, you took on a larger portion of this responsibility, and as a fully matured adult you bear the complete burden of responsibility. That responsibility is commensurate with control. In other words, the more authority one possesses the higher their level of responsibility. By focusing on the actions or views of other people, we surrender control, avoid responsibility, and remain in the chains of powerlessness.
"Be nicer than necessary to everyone you meet. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle." - Socrates
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